reality.teslaa

First off, Happy Birthday to my little man on Saturday. He's now 8 years old and I told him that he has to stop growing now. He's such a joy and complete replica of my husband. Love you, Isaac!

I had a Valentine's Day surprise delivery. I have no idea who was thoughtful enough to send me joy in the form of a gorgeous bouquet of tulips. Thank you to whoever you are. I absolutely loved them and cannot recall the last time I received flowers...let alone from a secret friend! It did bring me some sunshine my way. Thank you for your thoughts and kind words.

Last week, I was having one of those nights. Tired. Frustrated. Too much to do. No time to do it. And bedtime by myself. Bedtime with four kids. I walked into the living room with a sullen face. Maddie took one look at me and said, "Mom, having a bad day?" I just looked at her with my sad eyes and laid on the floor. (I always do devotions with the kids laying on my belly in the middle of the living room. I still think I'm one of the kids!) Maddie got down off the loveseat and proceed to lay down next to me and rubbed my back. I was on the verge of tears at how my 11 year old ministered to her mom. God was using her to reach me in my time of need.

 

Have you ever found yourself going through the motions of life? That's a very deep question, isn't it? I've felt that way at many times in my life and it's not a good feeling at all. Well, Mark did a hilarious, concrete example of going through the motions of life. A few weeks ago, I received a call from his cell phone. "Stephanie, you will never guess what I just did." That's a scary statement and I was not about to guess! "I just drove a 40-foot yellow school bus home." Sure enough, I noticed a second bus drive by our home right as the kids were getting off their bus. Mark has been driving bus in the afternoons as a fill in. In the midst of daydreaming return trip from his 50 mile bus run, he ended up at our door step. I joked that I would love for him to pick me up in the yellow submarine for our next date night.

Mark and I have become a Great Uncle and Great Aunt once again and again. In November, two of our nieces gave birth to baby girls...and they were big baby girls - both weighing in over 9 lbs. I wanted to introduce you to the newest babies in our family...

 
 

Only God Can Change a Sunset into Sunrise

 

Last year was a sunset for me. However, God has been true to His character and made my life into a sunrise. Our family has been through some personal struggles in the last year and, sadly enough, the last year has felt like a time warp. However, God has kept me and the family going through it all. He has never left my side. Never.

 

I have found it hard to write on my blog because I’ve always been someone who says it like it is. I have not minced my words. I have been transparent in so many ways of my life. However, I find myself in a new position of needing privacy as God provides healing and understanding through this trial in our lives. That has left me speechless to a certain extent. Honestly, I have learned a lifetime of wisdom in the last year that would bring Him glory but, once again, I feel God wanting us to wait.

 

I can share that I’ve learned…to hold loosely to things, not to rely on myself  but only on God, not to judge people based on my perception of them, to let God deal with hurt, to let God love when you cannot love in return, to enjoy the stars in the sky, to savor the simple things like a family dinner or a good glass of wine, to pray with my husband every night, to be thankful for a warm home and a paycheck, not to rely on my feelings but on God’s truth, to forgive myself in addition to others, to cry tears of joy in church, to trust that God loves my kids more than I do, to fall in love with my husband for new reasons, to look forward to heaven without fears, to celebrating struggles in life.

 

One new thing in this sunrise of my life is a new job. This does not mean that I am done with photography. Not at all. I had a very successful photography year and am gearing up for another one. I’ve been so blessed with some of the nicest customers in the world. I cannot tell you how many of my clients have blessed me with words of encouragement through this last year - some who knew I was struggling and some who had no idea. I’ve had clients full of grace as I tried to keep my personal life separate from my business life, but sometimes failed.

 

So I’m sure you are all curious about my new job and why…Well, I have all four kids in school full-time which means I have extra time on my hands in addition to a little extra tuition bill at school. The wonderful Michigan economy has not harmed my business – but, it’s not a prime opportunity for business growth to the extent that we need it financially. I decided to keep my ears open and asked friends to do the same for opportunities that would fit my personality and abilities. Well, a friend of mine had a neighbor whose place of work, Serendipity Publishing, was looking for an Accounting Coordinator. (For those of you who don’t know, I graduated with a BA in Accounting.) And the two blessings of this job are…it’s part-time flexible and it’s a group of really fun people. I officially started between Christmas and New Years and feel right at home already. It’s has been going great and I’ve learned about all the great lunch places in downtown, sushi, meal planning for dinnertime, Saturday laundry triathlons, and the need to explain to my kids… “if we are late for school, then mom’s late for work and I have a boss now.”

 

So the picture is from Sunday. Mark and I decided to head out to the beach to watch the sunset. We could tell that it was going to be gorgeous. It was bitterly cold and I was in pain by the end of the trip. It gave me a quick moment of reflection and I realized that God has a way of, not only turning sunsets into sunrises, but He making sunsets (as sad as they can be) absolutely beautiful. He makes everything beautiful in His time. I have no doubt about that.